There have been many instances where I have been wrong in the way I interpret someones non verbal message. A very good example of my misinterpretation of non verbal communication, I would have to say I tend to do with my boyfriend a whole lot. I tend to ask the question " "What's wrong, is everything OK?" because of either the expression on his face makes me think that he is either upset, bothered, or irritated. Also, it can be because of the tension in his voice . Sometimes he sounds agitated, annoyed or tense, and I sometimes try to think and I say to myself "Maybe its something I said or did, that has upset him". Then after sitting down and having a talk with him I come to find out that the reason he is acting in that manner has nothing to do with me what so ever, and that he is just tired and stressed out from school and work. I cant help it but I tend to do this allot and most of the time my interpretation of someones mood is very wrong.....
I think that our behavior can portray a variety of meanings. Therefore, we need to be careful on how we interpret those behaviors, we need to be aware of the context, and should always ask for verbal feedback to clear up any misunderstanding that there may be. Something else that may help with increasing the accuracy in which we interpret non verbal communication is to get into depth of knowing someone Else's culture and how they do things, because every culture is very different.
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2 comments:
I definitely know what you mean with the boyfriend bit. I drive my boyfriend crazy asking him what's wrong and most of the time he is completely fine.
I also agree that different behaviors can portray certain things. I think that is why often times people end up getting the wrong message. We know what our own actions mean and just automatically assume that other peoples' actions mean the same things when often times they mean something completely different. therefore, I think it is important that we try to go into situations with an open mind rather than a predetermined mind set on how the other person is feeling because it's nearly impossible to know what someone is thinking.
Although you may think that you were "wrong" in your perception of your boyfriend's mood. I believe that you may be able to offer your boyfriend the tools to begin to use his communication skills with you. You are obviously being very receptive and mindful of how he interacts with you. Maybe he needs to become a part of the dyad and contribute to the relationship.
Not only do you need to be careful about interpreting the nonverbal messages, but also the dyad needs to work at communicating. Each participant needs come into the relationship with the idea of making every effort to honor the role of communicating with each other – positive or negative.
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