Useful/Interesting Topic

After reading chapter 8 what I found to be the most interesting to me was the section on the "Promoting Professionalism in Workplace Relationships". I have plenty of friends that I have workplace relationships. I met a co-worker through my current job and we have become the best of co-workers. We are really close at work, however that's where the relationship stays, we both have our own set of friends outside of work. With Office Romance, this one is interesting because when I went to the new hire orientation for my job it simply states in the work handbook that a line staff cannot date a supervisor or a manager because it is a conflict of interest, but its OK if you are line staff and the person you are dating is a manager as long as he/she works in a different department then you. I personally would never date anyone from my place of work because it can be ac ward and sometimes cause unwarranted conflict. Unfortunately I work in a male dominated job and some of the males that I work with tend to cross the line into sexual harassment sometimes, and several have lost their jobs over this issue. I don't understand why people cant just be professionals, especially because we are looked at as role models and are always held to a higher standard out in the community. I believe a job is a place for work and one must maintain a state of professionalism.

Etiquette

I think that this etiquette rule in regards to cell phones is great. There is nothing more annoying then a cell phone going off during class, church, during dinner, and in the movies. I think that is very rude to the teacher, the preacher and people in general that have to listen to it ring. I think that by keeping your phone on ring is a very impolite and rude thing to do.

I think that this etiquette rule in regards to answering machines is not so great. I think that answering machines are a great electronic device to have when you are unable to answer the phone. If you have an important phone call then an answering machine is a must in order to leave a message for a return phone call. I think that this particular electronic device is a very useful thing to have.

I think that this etiquette rule in regards to conference calls is an interesting one because it’s a coin toss, because yes it’s a convenient thing when all people are not able to meet up, however it’s very impersonal because you are not getting face to face contact with the people. I think that’s it’s a totally different aspect when you are talking to someone on the phone apposed to when you talk to someone in person because you are not getting the same type of communication that you normally would. Perhaps this could be because you are not able to read others body language, or eye contact. If you speak to someone on the phone you are not able to tell if they are irritated or they might just always sound irritated and you may take it the wrong way.

I think that this etiquette rule in regards to faxes is ok because if you need to get something to another state this is a great way. But, I do think that perhaps a phone call could be warranted before you send it over to make sure that the right receiver receives the fax. The downfall of this is that you probable shouldn’t send personal information through fax because it’s not always confidential.

I think that this etiquette in regards to timing your communication is a good thing. I have used this many a times. I will now try to be more aware of my timing and how dangerous it could be if my self or the person I am calling is driving while using the phone. I do agree with the new rule of the cell phones. Hopefully it depletes car accidents some what.

I think that this etiquette rule in regards to screen names and ring tones is a funny one because I do at times think its inappropriate and childish at times. What if you are waiting for a call back for a job that you interviewed for and the person calls and you have a song for a ring, I think this is very unprofessional. I also think that weird screen names are childish as well, yes it may mean something to that person but to someone else, they might think what the heck this is. Yes this is a fun thing to have but at times it’s not an appropriate thing.

There have been plenty of times that I have been bothered by cell phones. When I go to the movies it never fails, someone always has a cell phone going off during the movie. It is so annoying and rude!!!! Yes I can understand if it’s an emergency, if that’s the case then why not put the phone on vibrate and keep it in your lap?? With pagers and answering machines not so much, because honestly who really even carries a pager any more. With the answering machines they can be loud at times, but I like answering machines because if it wasn’t for them I would have miss a lot of very important phone calls.

I thing that call waiting is something that I use on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s needed if you are talking to someone that is not such an important phone call, and if someone who calls and it is an important call that you need to pick up. It’s also an essential because if you have family members that call when you are on the other line you are able to pick it up. Cell phones now also have the ability to be able to not allow call waiting phone calls if you want.

I think at times putting people on hold can be justified as long as its not for an excessive amount of time. I know for me personally I do not like being put on hold and then on top of that having me hold for a long period of time is so annoying and sometimes rude. I usually do not put people on hold because I don’t like it to be done to me. I think if the call is important then why not just ask the person you are currently speaking to, that you will call them back in a little while, so that you can take the call waiting call.

Organizations Tying Into The Environment

Organizations are ties into the environment by by the influence that they have. Organizations are dependant upon us as and environment (community) for their resources and participation. We need certain organizations and are dependant upon us just as much as they need us and are dependant on us. Organizations also provide what we need as an environment but the downfall of all these organizations causes pollution, traffic congestion, and the housing ETC.....

The relationship between the school that i attend and the city in which it is situated in is that it is such a busy area and the students from SJSU bring the need for housing, therefor people who rent out either homes, rooms or even apartments are benefiting from this. With the traffic of students come the need for food, dining and course shopping, which brings business to the organizations that provide such a need. Issues that can be a downfall is the noise of the frat and house parties, the congestion of parking. I do however think that SJSU is in a very good spot because its already busy downtown anyways so this is a good spot for it. I use to go to Fresno City Community College and this school was located within a quiet neighborhood and it wasn't a good thing, the people that lived around there had signs posted everywhere saying "Quiet Do Not Disturb" and "No Parking". Come on what did they expect?? they live near a college!!!!!!

I think that people who move downtown know what to expect and shouldn't be surprised with the noise, traffic, and lack of parking. They should know better and if that's not what they like or can put up with then they are choosing the wrong place to move in. I think the ethical obligation that a college has to the local community is the Prior and Proper notification to the residence in the surrounding areas letting them know of upcoming events so that the residence may be better prepared. Perhaps the local communities input on any type of construction done to the college should be consulted with the community before it takes place. I also think the college needs to obligated to make sure that the college is not overcrowded in which will cause overcrowding of parking.

Useful/Interesting Topic

Upon reading chapter 6 what intrigued me the most was the section on Expressing Conflict. The reason it did is because withdraw reminds me of the way my boyfriend acts at times. It drives me nuts when he does this and the book is right on the dot because by him walking away or changing the topic just makes the situation much worse and I get even more angry. I sometimes wish the he wouldn't do that because it only prolongs the issue, so I have definitely talked to him about it and it has gotten better and he does open up to me know and I don't have to worry about him walking away from the situation or conflict. The part when it talks about forcing indeed reminded me of myself. The reason I say that is because at times I tend to be stubborn and always want things my way and I do tend to put aside what my partner is feeling and push and push until I get my way. I now understand that a relationship is not always one sided and that we both have things that we need to work on. I just thought it was funny that this portion of the book describes my relationship to the T.



I now understand that we must accommodate and compromise to make the other person happy. This is what a relationship is all about and things aren't always going to be the way you want it, that's what talking it out and compromising is for. I defintly agree with the book when it states that problem solving is the best method

Filters

The characteristics or behaviors that lead me to determine one as unatractive would have to be the persons personality. If I cant have an interesting conversation with someone then they are not worth wasting my time on. I also look at the persons goals and ambitions, I definitly cannot be with someone that does not want to make something of themselves. I also dont like people that are rude and superficial. I HATE THAT THE MOST!!!!!

Yes, Duck’s theory makes sense to me because whether we know it or not, we know exactly what we are looking for in a partner and we all have our pet peeves of what we like and what we dont like. When he talks about oeioke that live far, yes it hardly ever works out. How are people supposed to form healty relationships when they never see eachother. I do agree with Physical Proximity because we tend to meet our partners through friends and people who are close to us. With Preinteraction cues are too important filters because the way one looks is the first impression of that person and that is the most important determination that one makes to determine whether or not they want to further persue anything with that person.

Yes I have used Preinteraction Cues when determining whether or not I wanted to talk to that person or not. I have a certain type of guy that I am attracted and thats just what I prefer. And yes I have changed my mind and looked at the Interactionand Cognitive cues when determining whether or not I found them attractive. I have been attractive to several people based soley on their personalities. I believe that people who have great personalities makes them attractive because they have a great personality.

Patterns in Interpersonal Communication

The pattern that I think would be the most difficult to change is submissive symmetry because when both parties resists on surrendering control, this makes the statements or propositions that they may have seem contradictory or outrageous, however in reality it can show the possibility of truth. Either partner is not too concerned with making all the decisions or being the one in control, but at the same time they are trying to force one another to make all the decisions and take charge.
The pattern that I think would be the most damaging to a relationship is competitive symmetry because both partners are constantly struggling to out do one another and have hands up on the other partner. This pattern also tends to be more aggressive, which can make it harder to understand one another as well as negotiate properly. This is not a good thing because all it does is create constant competition between both parties. Eventually in the long run one partner or perhaps both could eventually begin to resent each other for the feeling of being pushed to the point of being perfect!!!!!The pattern that I think that would be the most damaging to self-esteem of the individual is competitive symmetry because both partners can start thinking that they may never be good enough for their partner and might never be able to live up to the potential of their partners ideals. However, the most important think that may happen is that either partner might begin to think that they will never be loved, never be respected for who they are, or never be accepted for not wanting to be the one in charge.

Lastly, my feelings on these particular patterns is that one must think and be considerate of others feelings. This is the most efficient way to solving dysfunctional patterns of interpersonal communication.

Useful/Interesting Topic

What I found interesting in chapter 12 was the story under culture perception, and the story of the women who moved with her husband to Iran from California and how she wore shorts and casual tops when she went out to the stores and a man grabbed her and made lewd suggestions. He thought she was a prostitute and when she called the police and told them she was attacked they just looked at her like she was crazy!!!! I find this story very interesting, its amazing to actually think that by the way one dresses will perceive her in a certain way in which is totally out of content. I think the same thing happens here in California, I like to go out to bars and clubs and there are allot of girls out there that like to wear very provocative clothing. My male friends automatically assume that just because a female dresses a certain way that she is seen as being promiscuous. In some cases that is so not the case. Its sad how females cant dress the way they want to without the possibility of being judged by men and also females. They are looked at in a very negative view. So what if someone decides to dress that way, hey its a free country and we should be able to express ourselves with out clothing and not have to worry about criticism.